I Forgot That Spontaneity Was a Great Word


Without me witnessing it, the child of a very close friend turned one. Another close friend moved to Bali without me seeing her. As someone who pays attention to and often succeeds in making time for the people in her life, sometimes such dreary ends do occur.  But where was the mistake? Full calendars? No.  Our having forgotten the word spontaneity.

Our mistake was saying “does next week Thursday work for you?” instead of “let’s meet up tonight.” (Ok I don’t want to be unfair to either side, we did attempt a few impromptu meetings, but they were all unsuccessful because of prior engagements). But really, when did we drift so far away from the beauty of spontaneity?

Wasn’t one of my best rakı-induced conversations during a lunch I was tricked into attending not soon after I had finished my breakfast? Wasn’t the best vacation the one where I suddenly decided to just buy a ticket and go? Then why were we trying to set a date to see one another as if trying to schedule a business meeting? Yes, it was I who had decided to keep my day planner empty up to a certain ratio in order to avoid chaotic weeks. But I didn’t want to forget about making space for unplanned things to such an extent.

I suppose one of the biggest obstructions to spontaneity is the concept of using time effectively within an organized structure, after all I owe my ability to make time for the things I like to this very concept. However, like everything in life, in this situation the notion of balance is also important. The unplanned fosters creativity and a talent to adapt to change.

Undoubtedly, we must give spontaneity a greater chance.

The people who, like me, have forgotten this word don’t really need to rent a caravan and hit the road like the featured image, or escape somewhere by going to the airport and taking the first flight to anywhere. Personally, I’m going to start with a weekend I have not yet planned. Who knows, maybe the rest will occur spontaneously.

Further Note Supporting the Main Idea: Those four people unable to forget that lunchtime rakı never met again, despite an adamant WhatsApp group.

Begüm

 

Translated by Feride Yalav-Heckeroth

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