Our Favorite Version of Ourselves


It’s believed that women in relationships create assumptions and calculations that surpass some of the most complicated mathematical equations. As someone who always expressed exactly what she felt and took action according to exactly what she perceived, I can say that my gender has been viewed skeptically for years. Pushing the ‘being yourself’ issue a bit further, I want to discuss another concept that’s very important to me: our favorite version of ourselves.

I believe there are personal attributes that make us all feel better about ourselves. Calm, exciting, wise, or courageous. And then there are versions of our developed selves that we can’t stand. Anxious, nagging, nervous, and weary. So all of these can be us. At one time I made the following comparison for this situation:

If we write it out as a formula then one person is A, the other B, and their relationship brings forth a C. Even though C is composed of A and B, C is a completely independent formation. When A has a relationship with D instead of B, then the resulting E is completely independent from C and doesn’t carry the same components of A. For example in the C relationship, if A quickly loses her temper, then in the relationship E, she can turn into a calm person.

That’s why we need to correctly observe who turns us into the best version of ourselves, and who detracts us from this version. There’s no doubt that every situation possesses a bit of both, but, like everything else, the issue is hidden within the ratios. If a lot of the habits we’d rather suppress are coming to the surface, or if we’re moving away from the ideal person we want to be on a daily basis, it’s perhaps time for a change.

Personally, I believe that our favorite self is revealed when similar souls come together. We’re most likely helping them find and bring out their best selves with our presence. It’s only then that a relationship gains meaning and adds a certain magic, rather than a burden, to a person’s life.

I don’t know how you would name this situation, which, as I later found out, psychologists refer to as ‘The Michelangelo Phenomenon,’ but when you do feel and impart this particular emotion you’ll know what an incredible enchantment it is.

Begüm

 

Translated by Feride Yalav-Heckeroth

Comments are closed.