The Do-Not-Do List

Moving forward with last week’s post, let’s further examine what kind of road map we can follow so we’re not stuck in the same place in five years.

First of all, let’s begin the process by choosing a goal that we yearn for greatly, or, at least, think about frequently. But let’s not allow the grave demeanor of a goal to mislead us. Losing weight, quitting smoking, saving money, or planning a trip are aims just as important as establishing your own firm or getting a promotion.

Should we talk about the biggest trap that awaits us after we’ve chosen our goal? Trying to accomplish many things simultaneously or trying to be everything to everyone. In the beginning this will appear like an expression of love or motivation rather than an error. However, after a while, we may notice that we’ve become the person who ‘constantly makes self-sacrifices.’ The emotional and material comforts we offer to those around us, at the cost of ignoring ourselves, can become a kind of duty after a certain point. In this situation our natural reflex is generally to accuse others and rarely to look back and question where we erred.

And so in order to avoid falling into this unpalatable situation it’s beneficial to carefully choose our goal and clarify our focus. Because specifying an aim inevitably leaves us with a whole new list of priorities. It brings along situations where our actions will become different compared to how others know and perceive us. It will require saying no to certain offers.

So go ahead and specify a goal that is large enough to force you out of your comfort zone, but reasonable enough to be accomplished in a short timeframe. Let the deadline for you goal be December 31, 2017. There are exactly four months ahead. Try to make a list of who and what you may have to say no to in order to accomplish this goal. Because often when we become enthralled by our aims and their consequent actions, it prevents us from seeing the obstacles. Whereas making our aims a reality is just as much about what we do, as it is about what we don’t do.



Translated by Feride Yalav-Heckeroth

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